20 Lessons From 20 Years

I turned 20 years old a couple of days ago.

This past year has been life-changing for me, partially driven by this pressure to get my life together before I would become an “adult.”

If you’re 19, you’re considered “a teenager.” But 20? Now, you’re well and truly in the real world.

Turning 20 is weird. You feel simultaneously young and old. It’s a paradoxical feeling, a push-and-pull of sorts.

While I’m only 20, I thought I’d offer 20 lessons I’ve learned over my 20 years of being on this planet.

I’ve been through a fair share of experiences, challenges, and events that I believe are helpful for those reading.

So, without further ado, here are 20 lessons from 20 years. Enjoy <3.

Work + Career

1. How to Escape BS Work

You’re told that entering the workforce is one giant, mindless slog you power through for 40 years straight.

Let me cut to the chase: it doesn’t have to be that way.

You CAN work on interesting things and be able to do that for a living. My work right now has been one of the most enriching experiences of my life so far.

Be relentlessly curious, build things that are exciting to you, and publicly document it.

2. Forget the Traditional Way

The top 1% of careers aren’t found through traditional gatekeepers like job applications, resumes, or referrals.

Don’t wait around asking for permission, just do things.

Send out cold DMs, create public pitches, and create noise on the Internet. Be willing to do free work. Add value without any expectation of return.

3. Apprenticeship is the Best Form of Learning

Forget lectures. Forget the traditional school system.

The best type of learning is 1:1, where you’re learning under an expert who’s been there, done that.

This is what has gotten me from good to great in classical piano, and this will be the blueprint I’ll be following as I build my business empire.

Find your heroes. Then, find a way to work with them.

4. Don’t Get Trapped by Job Titles

Job titles restrict the scope of work that is available out there.

The best type of work is where there isn’t a job title yet. That’s the type of work that’s exciting. How can you be more on the fringes of what’s possible?

Job titles also box you into a certain identity. Once you’re locked in place, it’s hard to get out.

Don’t be categorized by titles; be fluid in your work. From there, create something fresh and exciting.

5. Start Posting on X/Twitter

One of the best decisions of my life was creating content on Twitter last April 2024.

I attribute all my jobs, opportunities, and network to come from this platform.

If you’re interested in startups, tech, or just any high-agency domain in general, this is THE place for you.

If you’re interested in getting Twitter-pilled, I wrote a full guide here.

Relationships

6. Who You Hang Around Becomes Your Destiny

If you want to change your life, change the people you hang around with.

Something that has single-handedly contributed to my success so far was by making friends who had expanded my perception of what’s possible.

Be around those who are high-energy, high-agency, and high-integrity.

Cannot be stressed enough.

7. Create a Personal CRM

I’ve met hundreds of people online and IRL in the past few year.

Some have become my close friends, some have even become my business partners.

When you meet that many people, it’s super valuable to track who you’re meeting, what they’re working on, and ways you can add value to their lives.

I’ll talk more about it in a future post, but one of my mentors, Andrew Yeung, has a great essay going more in-depth.

8. Cherish Your Early Supporters

True friendship is revealed in those who root for you, even during your loneliest, darkest hours.

Their relationship with you doesn’t depend on whether you’re successful or not - they’re here for you, despite the circumstances. That’s a true friend.

For those who were there even when nothing was going for me, thanks for sticking around. It means everything. Truly <3.

9. Come With a Servant Mentality

When making new friends, don’t only talk about yourself. Instead, be interested in others. Ask questions, probe deeper into their lives.

Come first with, “How can I be interested?” or “How can I provide value to you?” instead of “Let me first talk about myself.”

The way to be an interesting person is to be an interested person.

Make the other person feel comfortable sharing about themselves. It’s human nature 101: we like to talk about ourselves.

10. Protect Your Energy

While it’s great to come with a helping hand, it’s just as important, if not more, to set boundaries.

Protect your energy. Say no when you don’t feel like sharing. Avoid one-sided, transactional relationships. Don’t let people pick your brain.

Your energy is limited and valuable. Don’t willingly give it to those who just want it to benefit themselves.

Life + Personal Growth

11. Travel as Much as You Can

At the time of writing this, I’ve visited a dozen locations in China during my study abroad here:

Beijing, Tianjin, Chengde, Jinan, Zhangjiakou, Cuandixia, Datong, Qingdao, Shanghai, Xi’an, Chengdu, and Chongqing.

When you’re young, fit, and living with few obligations, travel as much as you can. Broaden your horizons, expand what’s possible, and enjoy the journey.

12. Don’t Range Bound Your Life

On a spectrum of 1 (feeling the absolute shittiest) to 10 (feeling the absolute best), most people live a range-bound life, between 4 to 6.

If you want to experience life on the 8s, 9s, or 10s, you must first experience the 1s, 2s, and 3s.

Living life to the fullest means experiencing the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

You’re here to experience the fullest extent of what life has to offer. ZERO regrets.

13. Develop Morals Etched in Stone

As you grow older, you’ll be confronted with decisions and opportunities that will test you.

It’s your job to discern and do what’s right. And that can only be done by having a clear set of principles, morals, and values.

Maybe that’s through a higher power. Or maybe that’s through a personal set of pillars you create for yourself.

Whatever it is, make sure you’re living aligned with your inner self. Super important.

14. Develop High-Agency

The world is more malleable than you think.

If you’re unsatisfied with your current situation, you’re not stuck in it forever. You have the power to take control of your life and do things to make it better.

No one’s going to pull you up by the bootstraps - if you want to make something happen, get after it and get it done.

No excuses; only the excuses you give to yourself.

15. Nothing Happens, Then Everything at Once

Change often takes longer than you think. You wait, and wait, and wait. You doubt yourself, skeptical that anything will ever work out.

But then one day, it all changes. You hit a breakthrough. You strike gold.

Once you do, people will call you an “overnight success.” But behind the public glory are private nights of continuous hammering and consistency.

Nothing happens, then everything at once.

Art + Misc.

16. Create Things You’ll Look Back Forever

My music films are my magnum opus.

They will continue to be masterpieces I’ll rewatch over and over for the rest of my life.

Short-form creations are easily perishable (e.g: tweets, TikTok videos, etc.). Long-form creations are not (e.g: movies, albums, documentaries, etc.).

As Anu Atluru says, “make something heavy,” something that will last for the years and decades to come.

17. Journal Extensively

I’ve journaled ~750,000 words in the past almost 3 years. I’ve written 300,000 words in 2024 alone, averaging anywhere from 25,000 to 30,000 words per month.

Why journal so fricking much?

I attribute so much of my self-awareness to typing out all my thoughts and my day-to-day activities in front of a computer screen.

A nice byproduct? My writing has improved significantly in the past few years.

18. Create a Second Brain

Another immensely high-ROI activity is to create a second brain. It’s essentially a digital repository of all your learnings, notes, and thoughts.

I started this back in 2021-2022.

Now, I have my favorite curated essays, podcast episodes, and book notes ranging from topics like geopolitics to copywriting all in one place.

Invest in creating one early and watch the compounding take place.

19. Become Fit

As I’m traveling around China, it’s become apparent to me that being healthy and fit is not optional, but a MUST if you want to experience life to the fullest.

More often than not, I’m biking 25 km around Beijing or racing up mountains in a random city close to Inner Mongolia.

You have to be fit in order to participate in any of these activities.

Take care of your health NOW before it’s too late. Do anything that will get you moving.

20. Go Back Home More Often

Something not many people tell you once you move out to college or work is how less often you’ll get to see your parents or be back home.

This year alone, I’ve only been home for 2 weeks. The rest of my time was abroad halfway across the world.

Cherish your time at home. Cherish your time with family. Because once you graduate from high school and move out, things won’t be the same anymore.

What’s Next?

It’s a bit surreal, knowing that I’m in my “20s” now.

I’ve been hearing all about how the 20s are supposedly going to be the “greatest years of your life,” and to some extent, I feel like I have to live up to that expectation.

I still don’t know where life will take me, and the only thing I have is a compass guiding me in a general direction.

It’s almost unfathomable how much progress I’ve made in the past year, but at the same time, I feel like it’s nowhere near enough.

So here we go. Time to buckle up and charge forward.

20s, here we come <3.

Cheers,

Jeston Lu

Thanks for reading! If you have anything you want me to cover, fill out this form here. What did you think of today’s edition? Would love to hear back from you: just hit “reply” or reach out to me on X/Twitter.